Dec 12, 2008 If you didn’t put your sprouts on the boil back in April so that they would be ready for Christmas day all may not be lost in achieving that classic mushiness we all know and love (before you say it Blackdogg, I know you don’t like sprouts!)
Simply microwave on full for 15 hours (for an 800W oven) and finish off with 3 hours traditional boiling on Christmas morning to get the best results.
3 Comments 
I disagree!
To get the best out of sprouts. Firstly, round them up into a corner and cover them with a damp sack, this will calm them down and stop them from stampeding.(if you’ve ever seen a rampaging sprout, you know how dangerous they can be) Once calm, gently gather them up and throw them live into boiling water,once they’ve stopped screaming then you know they’re cooked. Drain off the water and throw them straight into the bin.
Ahhhh, perfect sprouts!!
Good grief!!
This is the most inhumane method of sacrificing sprouts that I have ever come across. It’s even worse than the outlawed ‘hang them from the hook of a coathanger and slit their stems with a rusty potato peeler before electrocuting them with a 220 volt sprout prod’ that was banned in the 60’s.
Ah the sixties – free love – hallucinagenic mushrooms, gawdy clothes and equally gawdy, super brightly coloured Titanium jewellery. Thank God those days are over (apart from the mushrooms of course!) Anyway, I digress.
Your comments are certain to have the RSPCS and other sprout activists choking on their lentils when they read this. Sprouts have rights too you know. The very action of rounding them up with a damp sack is only certain to cause extreme distress to the poor sprouts – much better to use a large butterfly net so that they can still see their friends. Also, throwing them live into hot water is risky in as much as the shrill cry of hundreds of sprouts all shouting “B##g#r, that’s hot!” has been known to cause irrepairable damage to the sensitive ears of humans.
Judge Dredd, if in fact you are actually a judge, I wouldn’t like to stand before you in court – I will be writing to the patron of our sprout society, Sarah Kennedy, to get you disbarred for your comments, so help me I will !!
PS
Garnish with a knob of butter and a sprig of holly for that extra Christmas touch before throwing them in the bin.
Handy Sprout tip.
Try this out on Christmas Day to really get yourself in the party mood.
Top up your sprouts with one litre of Southern Comfort – allow to reduce by 10% and then drain. Throw the sprouts straight in the bin and drink the juice – just what the doctor ordered!
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